Giving Thanks and a Moment

This post is basically to tip my hat to Thanksgiving, as well as to bring light to many things we take advantage of every day. First of all, I am thankful for the opportunity to live in a country where any desire I choose to pursue is not only encouraged, but supported (as long as it's legal of course). An inappropraite amount of people can't say that this is true. I am also thankful to have a family that calls me up just to tell me they saw the credits rolling and thought of me... even though I'm not in them haha. Thanks Mom, Dad, and Tim for supporting me in my journey to live my dream.

Alright. So now that it's out of the way, I almost ran over a man the other day. I looked both ways, I tagged him in my brain as someone that needs to cross the street, yet when I turned my head to see if other cars are coming and then proceeded to accelerate, I saw he was already walking into the street. Everyone's okay as it was just a close call, but after the adrenaline dissipated as I was driving away and thinking about the life that was jeopardized (even though I feel I did everything to prevent the potential hazard), it got me thinking... am I on autopilot and did I really need to go immediately after checking the intersection? Am I just so used to getting things done that taking it slow seems almost ridiculous? Are we all just running through our lives without really stopping to enjoy the breeze? Maybe if we got up ten minutes earlier each day, the feeling you had that made you hit the pedal too fast would be gone. Maybe the red light you felt like running through wouldn't seem like such a challenge to stop at.

Living in Los Angeles has taught me a valuable lesson- one in which I'm glad to say didn't require something major or tragic to happen in my life for me try learn it. Everyone around me in their car on the freeway, on the sidewalk, at the bus station is in a hurry to get somewhere, but has forgotten to enjoy the little things. I've lived in LA for almost 2 years now and I was so set on "making it happen" and getting my career going that I have forgotten to really sit down and enjoy myself, take a moment to go see the sunset, or even just sit down and enjoy a good book that has nothing to do with how accomplished I want to be.

What would you do if time stopped? What would you be thankful for in those moments alone with nothing to do?

I hope you all had a happy turkey day, enjoyed your friends and family, and most of all... enjoyed yourself.

The Element (Part 2)

Sorry I've been MIA for a bit. Things have been tough, I picked up a side job and have also been producing a game with some friends. I've been thinking of topics to write about and this one popped up. I wanna get it down on paper (metaphorically speaking) before I forget. I wrote a post about a year ago on finding your element because I suddenly realized I needed to change around the course of my career. Worked out well. But there was another portion of that whole experience that I never really mentioned or even understood until recently.

There is a deep, burning desire in all of us that renders us to crave more and more experience of something in particular. This desire came to me at a really ironic time in my life. The situation was so raw that there is no way I could have interpreted it any other way. After realizing my calling was in Los Angeles to be a part of the animation industry, I stopped by my college town of Chico on the way down from Seattle. Granted, I didn't intend to stay there for 9 months, but I'm extremely glad I did. I stayed with some friends of mine who had an extra bedroom, bless them for being so kind. I had very little money, 2 suitcases, and my computer. I remember sitting on this wonky chair, with a lopsided desk, and at night shivering to keep the blankets warm when I would wake up to frosty windows. I was surviving off of freelance projects, as well as working as a receptionist for a local private practice - all very little money and not enough to cover much of my student loan debt. This doesn't sound like an awesome time I would like to remember, but it is.

Because of one project.

I brought back to life with some friends of mine a short animation about a normal day cooking in the kitchen... but from the food's perspective. A short horror film, if you will. This project kept me going and gave me something to work for. I was learning, I was excelling, I was enjoying every moment of it. I keep thinking back to this image of me sitting on that wonky chair at the lopsided desk and checking my emails for that project and I get a warm feeling inside. A longing to go back to that moment. A longing to be cold and on the floor just to wake up ready to see the scene the animator sent back to me. A longing to be hungry and tired from work just to go home to Skype with the producer. A longing to see the fantastic storyboards for the first time after learning my bills won't be covered again this month.

That's when you know.

I encourage all of you to remember every corner of your childhoods, past lives, hobbies, inspirations, life-changing decision moments, and ask yourself... "WHY? Why do I want to go back to this? What is it inside of me that draws me to this?" This may be easy for some and difficult for others. If you find it difficult, I will recommend this again... Read "The Element" by Sir Ken Robinson. I promise you, you'll get it after you finish the last page.

For those of you who already know what your passion is or why these moments were so precious, now ask yourself this one last set of questions... "HOW can I get that back? How can I make my current situation emulate that same feeling? How can I be smart about my learning, spending, and resources that will get me there faster?"

It's quite simple, really. Follow your heart. It sounds cheesy, but actually doing it makes everyone else seem cheesy for living the boring lives you know- and they know- they have settled for.



"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." - Nelson Mandela

Update 8/27/12

Been keeping up with the schedule, although I feel I should pay more attention to French (which admittedly has been slacking), but! I have some drawings to show you guys, as well as some Youtube videos I followed and learned on my Tin Whistle.

One last update, as well. I am pretty much done with my elimination diet. I have maybe a few minor details I want to iron out (how much of what will I react to specifically). But ultimately I found dairy and gluten to be the main culprits, so I am definitely staying away from them. White rice and beans are ok so far (except for mild stomach discomfort, could have been due to WHERE I got them as well). My last hurdle will be if there were to be an accidental exposure, how much will be tolerable? I seem to react to dairy less than gluten, but I'm not going to test the limits on that and I don't care to. I think I want to just... eat for a while and be healthy. Goodbye forever to those foods I haven't even thought about the last few months.... whatever you were...




Moving on! Here is my DeviantArt profile, please Watch it in order to get updates and because I drew some nude figure models, you may have to sign in to see some of the posts!

http://anm8ed.deviantart.com/

Also, here are three songs I have learned since starting to learn the tin whistle a few months ago. Watch out, they are catchy tunes!

(only the first on entitled "An Old Pair of Shoes")

(I'm still learning the ornaments on this one, and I'm not using a Pennywhistle, I have a Tin Whistle in D.)

And of course my main inspiration for learning Tin Whistle, this video

And this will be my latest challenge. Too fast? No worries, I got that taken care of.

Enjoy!

Seeing Your Roots

This is kind of an impromptu post, as before this morning, I didn't even consider this to be a topic. I'm a huge believer in evolution and I trust my body more than most doctors just because humans have been around way longer than modern medicine. I feel we should have a little more faith in that fact alone.

I had an eye appointment this morning, mostly to order contact lenses and to ask about a condition I've developed. My eyes have been extremely dry and I looked up the symptoms only to find that I have "Dry Eyes", which doesn't help much. The doc told me the same thing. I asked her a few more questions and she indirectly told me that sometimes wearing contact lenses can cause this sort of thing to happen, and that it is common and all I have to do is take some of these eye drops 4 times a day for MONTHS and then see if it improves. Doesn't sound fun. So I asked her about Lasik, and she said no surgeon would operate on someone who has that kind of dry eye condition.

So let me get this straight.

This temporary fix to nearsightedness could potentially be causing other problems that prevent me from a permanent fix?

That seems a little backwards to me. I won't even go into the insurance problems I had with coverage yet again, but it seems to me that the ultimate goal here is not for the benefit of me and my possible permanent fix to nearsightedness but a way to keep me coming back for more prescriptions and in some cases, drugs.

I looked up some potential causes of myopia (nearsightedness) and it seems to correlate with a number of factors including (but not limited to) lack of Vitamin D/ Sun Exposure, reading, computer usage, TV usage, and other things that basically limit your eye muscles to seeing short distances.

Now it seems to me that all exceptions aside, one could potentially go outside more and maybe "re-train" their eyes to at least reduce their use of glasses or contacts? Maybe even to the point of elimination? I've done some basic research, the "Bates Method" seems to be the most popular and I've already downloaded it to my Kindle. But I want to do more than just read. I think it's necessary to step away from the computer and go outside more to really get my eyes working outside again (I can only see shapes and colors farther than about 10 feet right now), maybe even watch shows/movies at a distance (since I AM still keeping up with pop culture due to my schedule), and whatever exercises they recommend. I could go further and reduce the size of the text on my screen or something, but I'll stick with something simple to ensure consistency.

Let me just make a statement. I TRULY believe our dependency on our current prescriptions (in most cases) is what prevents our eyes from getting better. If hunter-gatherers in other cultures and in our past ever had this sort of nearsightedness, they would not survive. But this epidemic of nearsightedness is ridiculous in my opinion, and making some industry incredibly wealthy. Ahem.

With that said, I will be only wearing contacts when I go out to important public events, wearing my glasses during other times to try and improve the dryness that may be caused by the contacts, and whenever I am in front of a computer or reading, I am going to try to use nothing to see. After reading this book, I will update you guys on what else I will be doing.

Oh and of course adding these elements into my diet. Almost forgot about that :) Mostly will be fish oil supplements and more carrots, because the rest is either not in my lifestyle choices, or is already in my belly almost every night (Yummmm Kale).

I'm not really looking for feedback on this post, even the science side. Frankly, I want to try it and let that dictate my opinion and how it applies to me. Other than that, I hope you are all well. Feel free to email me at sonya.m.ballas@gmail.com if you have any questions or suggestions!

Adaptation and Your Schedule

I got so excited about the last post, that I forgot how often things change! Recently, I've taken on a few more side projects in my spare time which will be eating into my time to improve my skills in other areas. But no fear! I feel this is a good thing, and everyone should expect (and welcome) change in their life, and their schedule. Here are some steps you can take to stay on track:

Being able to adapt is probably one of the most important skills you need when trying to reach a goal. Things will change, and you can't let that distract, discourage, or even delay you. The first step is to...

Recognize.

Identifying change takes some practice, but it's the most crucial step IMO. Look for patterns. Are you delaying into your schedule when you stat more often than not? Do you find yourself not wanting to continue for various reasons? Stop to take a second and think. For instance, when I got home this past week, I noticed that because I went out to eat at lunch everyday (we just recently moved offices at work and haven't gotten a fridge yet) I felt inclined to take an extra few minutes to really make a dinner that I was proud of. I didn't plan on this. I also had some health issues preventing me from doing my exercises. Nor did I plan on more work hours in the morning, meaning I had to go to bed early. Both of which cut into the hours I laid out for drawing, french, and pop culture nights. In addition to this, launching a game project gave me more reason to delay from starting at the right times. See where I'm going? New things presented new problems with the schedule I had just set up. So what now?

Redefine What's Important.

I've been enjoying my pop culture nights, but I've also been exposing myself to things on the weekends. Two nights a week is a little excessive, especially full nights I could be using for projects. Also, I've been making progress a lot more in French with a program I found called DuoLingo, which i feel is more efficient than the original study plan. I haven't been drawing as much, but when I do practice, I've been making a lot of progress. So all three can be cut down to either less time or less often, or both. In addition to this, I realized it's been about 3 weeks since I played my tin whistle! I've been trying to learn new tunes, so I think I should factor that back in. But ultimately, I need to dedicate at least 2 hours a night to certain projects and that will be the most important thing right now.

Implement a New Schedule.


Taking action is important. Now that you know what went wrong and keep the scope of your goals in mind, you can reconstruct something to try. After adjusting some things around, this is what the future holds for me:

Last step?

Try It.

If you find it difficult to keep up with, then maybe your expectations are a little ambitious. Pick one thing to focus on for a month or two and then add on or switch when you're satisfied. Whatever makes you happiest.
Just remember the first step and keep an eye out for when things aren't working like you want.

That's about it for me, I'll post an update to let you know how it's working. If you really want, I'll post it in French ;)

Your Work- (or Non-) Week at Its Best

I am a young 24-year-old living in Los Angeles. It occurred to be quite a while ago that not only do I have a very long while before I even have to think about dying, but that I also know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. This was a very harsh thought since my life practically revolves around knowledge and having an understanding of the world around me. Not only this, but it seems that I have a major list in my head of things I should have learned by now, either through school or just in general. Obviously, having these ideals is somewhat unrealistic, but that is the nature of who I am- I set up unrealistic goals and by attempting to achieve them, I end up accomplishing more than I ever thought I could because of the way I organize my time. I then look back and think, hey, it's not perfect, but I'm a lot farther than I was when I started.

So what does this have to do with anything? Well, life is too short to be worrying about what you aren't. But I do know that for me personally, I tend to accomplish things a lot more when I have no time to do anything. Meaning, when there is pressure on my schedule (usually from working for 8 hours a day), I find it's easier to  say to myself, "Sonya, you don't have all day to read through the 2,000 blogposts on your RSS feed today (or ever), but you DO have 15 minutes while your chicken is baking to look over your favorite ones," than to try to read through all of them in one day. Essentially, I won't get anything done if I have a whole day because I try to knock something unrealistic out.

YOU HAVE TO MICRO MANAGE. Setting up a big goal is great, but it's important to break it up into something manageable.

I decided today that I'm going to set up a weekly schedule to achieve small portions of my goals. Some of the things I have in mind are learning french, drawing, yoga stretching, pull up bar workouts, and watch movies/tv shows for Pop Culture reference. Since these are long term goals and don't have any particular moment where I want to say stop (yet), I am going to allocate a little time each week to ensure I at least do some of it consistently.

As of right now, I am working 10 hours a day doing freelance work (including travel time and lunch). So that takes up a chunk of my time. I am also cooking for about 1-2 hours when I'm at home, but I can multi-task. I need 8 hours of sleep. That leaves about 4 hours a day to get something done.

I think it's necessary to do stretching and some exercise every day to compensate for the sitting I have done in the past. We converted our desks at work to standing and I have a standing desk at home, but because I don't have time to be more active (going hiking every day, bike riding, etc.), I feel it's necessary to do these daily- or at least on weekdays. I think I will do 15 minutes of yoga stretching, and 15 of the pull up bar.

I tend to fall asleep when I watch movies late, so I have decided to start them at an earlier hour, so around 9-9:30. I will do that twice a week. Since the movies and TV shows will vary in time, I won't schedule anything after that just for the sake of finishing something. I can enjoy the rest of my night reading or doing something I feel is necessary.

I'm going to start off slow with French and say that I for sure need to work on my listening skills the most since even after I learn a phrase, I don't recognize it when it is said to me for the most part. So For this month, I'll focus on finding relatively easy podcasts and youtube videos with French in them and listen to something and write down as many words as I can recognize. If there is a way to double check my work (like subtitles or a manuscript), I'll look at that afterward. I'll come up with more exercises as I go along. So an hour, 3times a week so as not to burn myself out.

And for drawing, I would like to practice consistently, but again, don't want to burn myself out. I'll choose a topic and just draw what I feel like for the night since I'm just starting, and then I'll refine some exercises once I get comfortable. I'll pull from books, Google, and DeviantArt to start since not having any inspiration to draw was the primary reason for me not learning to draw sooner. Gotta keep the inspiration up! So I'll do something similar for drawing and french on the same nights so that I can do them more often (woo! efficiency!). Here's what my schedule looks like once I plug it all in!

Probably doesn't look like much, but think of it this way. If you already allocate time specifically FOR something, I feel you are setting yourself up for success. Also, look at the education model (one of the few good things that actually comes out of public school systems). Even in Elementary school, there are certain times laid out for certain subjects. The kids don't get bored with Social Studies ALL DAY and they keep the subjects frequent enough to actually help the kids retain knowledge and get into the habit.

I think this will work very well for me personally. And when my schedule changes, I'll just allocate more or less time to each subject, depending on how much focus I need on it.

TADA!

Now go make your own or come up with a system that works for you ;)

Life is too short to not be proactive.

Paleo - How It Changed the Way I Think

About a year ago, my brother and I were having a discussion. I confessed to him my unhappiness in my health and how I cannot for the life of me figure out how to exercise without getting bored or frustrated. If you are unaware of my past, I played softball until freshman year of college and have had coaches telling me to "condition" and lift weights on a dime. I never really liked the idea of working out for the sake of working out. So we were bouncing ideas back and forth, and he eventually told me about this Paleo thing. I believe this was the exact video he showed me, and I consider myself to be a pretty intelligent person... so it made sense. The root of everything seemed to consistently come down to nutrition. Everything.

Here I am a year later, having done relatively extensive research on lifestyle diets and, tried and true, Paleo is the one thing that has worked. Now I won't say I'm any expert, nor did I do nearly as much research as some of the other folks out there, but my goal was to find something that worked FOR ME nutritionally so I could focus on other things. It's taken me almost a full year to figure out how to change my lifestyle for the better, and here are some findings I've observed:



Problem? My decisions were made based on my emotions when I consumed more dairy, grains, and some starches. I had to cut those out in order to have a clear head and not snowball into 3 weeks of fast food. One craving would lead to another and another and another until my immune system would weaken to the point of me getting sick or unable to recover quickly from an injury.

Solution? Trust me... cutting it out is the only way you're going to get over it without any amount of guilt, worry, or shoulda-coulda-woulda-thoughts hanging over your head. There are chemicals released in your brain when eating these foods and they will literally cause an addiction- similar to heroin. Rehab is the only answer. Period.


Problem? Whole Food is too expensive and fast food is cheaper. True Facts. And I'm on a budget.

Solution? Well for me, since I'm Freelance for most of the year, this was a tough one.

#1- I basically started out with little to no money for groceries in the first place, so my only solution at the time was to spend ALL of my grocery money for the week at the Farmer's Market and literally have no choice but to cook at home. This can only work for so long, as I got more hours, and eventually a more generous paycheck at a new company.

#2- For this scenario, since I still had money left over that COULD be used for bad food choices (in case of a craving emergency), I started investing in things for cooking. I would save up for a trip to Whole Foods and get Coconut Oil, Almond Milk, Garlic, Lemons, and other random things that most people who are health conscious and cook a lot should have in their kitchen. Investing in the process really got me to invest in the good food. I started making it less convenient to go out because I had no reason to not stay in.

#3- This is a branch off of 1 and 2... I have now finally figured out a budget that works for me. My solution now (since pinching pennies isn't too much of a problem ATM) is to just go weekly (sometimes bi-weekly) to get veggies, fruit, and sometimes meat. I found out where the local Farmer's Markets were after I moved, and I made it a point to try to make it every single time. Constantly having food available at home and readily available to eat when I was hungry made it more convenient to stay home. YAY!


Problem? My decisions were made based on convenience. It was more convenient to stop and get food on the way home than sit and cook dinner for an hour. It was more convenient to take out Rice-a-Roni than to make something from scratch. It was more convenient to snack on something that was pre-packaged than to cut up some veggies I had stored in the fridge. All of these things led to poor decision-making, even when I didn't have cravings.

Solution? First of all, I threw out anything that wasn't ideal out of my cupboard (ok, I gave them to my room mates as to not be wasteful). Whenever I had a moment (either I was bored or in between tasks or needed a break) I would check out what I bought at the Farmer's Market and figure out how to make it more convenient. Let me explain. If one of the reasons I didn't feel like eating carrots was because they had dirt on them still (fresh picked!) and weren't of convenient size, I would cut them up and prep them for the week. Boom. Same with meat- I would pick something from the freezer and put it into the fridge so it would start defrosting. How guilty would you feel if you took the time to go to the Farmer's Market and pick out these items only to spoil them because you chose to go out three times that week? Guilt-trip FTW!


Problem? Networking basically requires you to go with the flow and go out to eat every once in a while (so does having close friends as room mates).

Solution? I'm still getting the hang of this one. I try to not pick fast food and persuade them otherwise (usually works in some cases). If fast food is the main choice, I choose to fast and just go along for the trip. Fasting is NO PROBLEM when I've been keeping up with the ideal lifestyle choices. My blood sugar is fine (my hypoglycemia is under control), I am deaf to the calling of the fast food because I've had none to cause cravings, and I still get to hang with the people who are going. If a decent restaurant IS the main choice, it gets a little tougher. You have to worry about contamination of gluten (it is not against health regulations to cut bread and then cut fruit with the same knife), whether or not the particular ingredients are ideal (not as picky as grain-fed vs. grass-fed, but instead being able to identify if one ingredient can be substituted or removed), and lastly, the awkward moment of asking the waiter these questions AND being "that guy" among your friends or acquaintances. So, I just make the best decision I can with what is there and try to pick something with the least amount of impact if something does go wrong. Usually a "side" of something and a plate full of veggies and maybe some meat is the best way to go (and delicious!). If all else fails, I order the minimum and fast. Again, no problem there.


Problem? I don't didn't know how to cook.

Solution? I read A LOT of recipes and grab tips-n-tricks from different sources. You'd be surprised how many people don't know how to cook an artichoke properly or why their gravy isn't thickening. Alternative cooking ingredients act very similar to the SAD (Standard American Diet) ingredients. Almond flour still expands the same as wheat flour when baking biscuits. Coconut milk will still create a saucy texture for your gravy in place of milk. You can still cook meat with coconut oil and not burn the pan because you didn't use vegetable oil. Also, Trial-and-error was a huge thing for me. There were times, I admit, that I completely screwed over an entire meal for one reason or another and went to Jack-in-the-Box because it was 10pm and I still had no dinner. But that was then. I have learned the basics enough to cook a decent meal, and I have even gotten compliments!! AND I try to pick up new ingredients or cook a new recipe at least every week, so I'm constantly learning things to improve my techniques and understanding (and make it taste better, of course).


Problem? I don't didn't exercise enough.

Solution? Actually, this one is still not ideal. But, I have found that as long as I walk around town, go on a bike ride, hike every few weekends, and sprint at the beach when I feel like it, I am still losing weight. I haven't set up a routine because I have no routine schedule ATM, so I'm just enjoying things and not forcing myself to do anything I don't feel like doing. I take every opportunity my friends give me to get out to walk around, and I make sure I PLAY whenever I can. Here is a great video on why I prefer play over hard-core exercise. I may start BJJ or something else once I can afford it, but for right now, I'm happy getting out and doing whatever the day presents as an appealing option.



So, to conclude, this post is not me trying to convince anyone of any particular lifestyle. This is simply to get those gears turning in your head to observe behaviors in your life that need to be hacked. How will you change your lifestyle in order to feel, look, or perform better? Why are you not achieving your ideal nutritional goals every single day? What small things can you do RIGHT NOW to ensure your success for the future when those decisions aren't easy to make? Like I said, it's taken me a year to come this far, and I still have micro-goals I want to accomplish. But at least I have set myself up for a healthier life, and I can start to focus on other things. That was my plan all along ;)

New Look- New Direction

In the last couple months, I have really been getting in touch with who I am and how I can market myself-- in my career, and just in general. Most people by 24 have figured out basically who they are and what they stand by. It seems to me, that I'm constantly changing and improving things in order to accommodate ideals that I have developed as the result of being a coordinator/ project manager. Naturally, I find connections within my life that parallel things I do at work. For example, finding the most efficient way to cook dinner; maximizing the pay off when I do happen to spend money; even the benefits of keeping a healthy diet and exercise pattern when it comes to productivity. I have had quite a bit of conversation and observation revolving around the idea that not everyone has a gift of seeing a process or a patterned system easily, and even more so incorporating them into their lives, work ethics, and mannerisms. I am by no means an expert, but I think since my blog already seems to be a mess, this is a good way to organize it and share my knowledge. I'll be changing my design and topics to suit a more unified theme from now on: Organizing Your Life. How I manage to bring work home to make life a little easier for myself, how I avoid certain aspects of organization and structure in order to maintain relationships, and I'll throw in a few posts about goal setting and achieving things in your life with just a little system creation :)

Granted, the posts will remain to be a little random (with topics ranging from drawing, to cooking, to fitness, and sex... if you're lucky), but it will be insightful to the relationships I see in bringing structure to unstructured things. I hope this is a useful blog, and seriously... feel free to ask for advice. There seem to be a lot of people that find it difficult to manage their time and space to achieve their goals, and if a little nugget from this tiny blog can help you step in the right direction, by all means... ask away!

3-13-12 Drawing

Hey! I promised that I would be posting drawings every day (or at least sum it up every few days). So here is the first one! Just basically drawing over stuff and defining the form in boxes and lines of action so I can understand its construction more. Nothing will be exciting for a few years, but here is the link to my inspiration.
http://www.11secondclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=8264

Enjoy!

Animation Marathons and The Iron Giant

Hey Folks! These past few weeks have been odd, but good. For one, while working as a Production Coordinator with Kenny Roy, I stumbled upon the opportunity to work with him on his 24 hour Animation Marathon. I also randomly got an invite to the re-screening of the Iron Giant, with a Q&A by the original cast & crew and BRAD BIRD himself (if you haven't seen my quote above, you'll notice how much respect I have for him). I decided to forego GDC this year, and based on the events of the week, I am glad I didn't mope around and stay home- the opportunities I had this week were priceless. Here's a quick summary of the events. I highly recommend- no matter how much you have going on, how tired you are, how far the drive is, or how useless you think it is- taking opportunities and making the most out of your day. You never know what will happen, what you will discover, or what ideas will be drawn from your experiences.

First off, KennyRoy.Com hosted a 24 hour Animation Marathon. If you are still waiting for the replay, don't fret, Livestream and Kenny are working it out. 24 hours of streaming was a bit of a record-breaker. We'll post that in a bit. If you haven't visited his Kickstarter Page or do not understand what the hell I'm talking about, go here. Kenny has been in the animation industry for years, is a mentor at Animation Mentor, and did this all to promote his Kickstarter, and to inspire animators around the world. At first, I was thinking about staying there for a few hours and then crashing so I could work the next day, but after seeing how dedicated Kenny was, and talking to the people on Livestream about how great it was to be a part of, I figured I would stick it out til the end. Seeing Kenny animate a scene from start to finish was a dream come true for many animators.

There were plenty of "a-ha" moments for them on workflow, and in being able to see why he is so fast and so good. His ability to soak in all the hot keys and shortcuts like a sponge helps him get it done that much faster. The community surrounding this event was just phenomenal. I got to help answer questions while he was animating (everyone knows that the best way to really learn things is to teach them, right?). Since I have helped him on his website before and practically seen the lectures while video editing (maybe a little too much... that song was stuck in my head for a week...), I knew the answers immediately when someone inquired. Kenny would elaborate and we would gain even more insight if my answer was a little too short (hey, I'm still learning...). It was also a great experience to be on the OTHER SIDE of the job inquiries. People were actually asking me for advice on how to do their demo reel and taking it seriously. I remember when I was just on the other side of the fence and completely clueless. It was nice to be there to guide them through their questions and be available to them. I've always like the idea of "paying it forward" and this was definitely one way to do that. Even if I increase their chances of becoming a part of this amazing industry by just 1 %, I will sleep better at night.

I think the biggest part that I took away from this was the camaraderie from the people who joined the conversation. We laughed, we cried, we joked, and most of all, we all had something in common- a love for the craft. It's the first time since I left Chico that I've felt like I was part of a community again. Being in LA keeps your focus on the bigger picture and rarely leaves you feeling like the people in your general locale are actually there for you. But everyone in that chat room was supportive, excited, curious, and hopeful, just because someone in the industry decided to become completely vulnerable and share the experience 100% from start to finish. And when I say vulnerable, I'm not just talking about giving them a peek at his screen the whole time. Kenny was sick and vulnerable physically, which really showed the community how much this meant to him, and how much he wanted to make it happen. It was truly inspirational.

Needless to say, we raised about half the funds, just in that one night. But more importantly, there were more animators out there that were about ready to give up because of the tough world we live in and the sporadic demand for animators, and his marathon re-lit the flame, even in someone such as myself that already has a career in something other than animating. I hope those that are reading this right now realize how much this meant to me, and that you are welcome to contact me any time with questions, even now that the marathon is over :)



The Iron Giant.

Yeah. I don't need to introduce this one much. And if you haven't seen it, you shouldn't be reading my blog. That's just inappropriate. So the LA Animation Festival decided to show the Iron Giant on the big screen once more since it didn't get a whole lot of publicity and love until after it was released on VHS (holy crap- I feel old!). Considering I had only seen the Iron Giant just a few months ago, I was a little lost on who all was in the cast & crew, so waiting for the event to start wasn't as social or network-oriented as it usually is as I had no idea who to look for or what the important people looked like. I'm allowed to be young and stupid, right??? Anyways, so we watched the movie. One of the friends who decided to tag along had never seen it before, so it was a joy to hear how excited he was after. I cried, of course, and I remembered how awesome it was and why it was getting so much recognition. And then the lights went on as the credits rolled, and people clapped almost the whole time (probably because they were all in the audience or just THAT amazing).

Finally, they brought everyone on stage. The insight they gave was just ridiculous. Brad Bird talked about how the film was a series of flukes and if 10 things didn't go exactly the way they did, the film never would have been made. Wow. And also that he changed the story of the original Iron Giant during the pitch- he had prepped a script beforehand and changed it before their eyes. The producers in the meeting were getting so into it that they started taking notes and writing their version of the screenplay as he was going. It's kind of amazing once you hear the whole story about how something so simple as making a movie was actually achieved. The Art Directors and TDs got their shot at explaining the new technology they got to play with (well, it was new at the time...) and how they solved their problems. The one thing that stuck out to me was when the TD (sorry guys, I'm blanking on names) described the process. Normally we render something with all the textures, lights, and fun stuff and then take it and composite it with the 2D if that's the mediums we chose. But for the Iron Giant, they partially rendered it and then took it back into 2D with the painters and let them color over it to make it match the environment, style, and look of the piece. THat's why it looked so seamless. The compositing was done to finalize the lighting and the aesthetics of the foreground and background. Amazing. The little boy (now grown up of course) talked about why this film will always be his favorite, and how Brad stuffed twinkies in his mouth and made him run around Warner's parking lot, and exchanged a few funny stories. It's funny how I just talked about opportunities at the beginning of this post, because Eli (the boy) literally was about to flake on the audition because he was too tired to go. He was so close to convincing his mom to turn around and go home, and it ended up being one of the most memorable roles of his life- he couldn't even remember the audition he had just come from before that role.

To finish it off, Brad decided to tell one last story. This one stuck with me. Brad graduated from California Institute of the Arts (Cal Arts) along with some other people you may have heard of like John Lasseter and Ed Catmull. They frequently look to Cal Arts for blossoming talent and to keep in touch with the program. One year, the program told Brad they were cutting out traditional animation from the animation program- they said basically that there was no need for it anymore and everyone uses computers now. Well, bless their hearts, they all stormed over there, being experienced and one trained only in 3D (Ed) and set them straight saying Traditional Animation is the foundation for all animation, and cutting it out would be detrimental to the industry. They listened, but my emphasis here is on the fact that anyone can click buttons- but the animators, or modelers, or whatever out there that are not focusing on the roots of where your craft come from are not doing themselves any favors. If you truly want to learn your craft, analyze what your fundamentals should be and don't stop pursuing it, even after you get a job. It's crucial that we all keep in touch with the roots of our craft. Drawing/ Painting/ Sketching every day is a good start.

Which leads into my conclusion. With all of this inspiration and talent-driven events around me here in Hollywood, I will be drawing every day. Since I haven't been drawing since I was 5, I figure drawing over things will jump start my muscles until I can let them run free. Sketches from Glen Vilppu, and of course, coffee shop drawings will be the bulk of my content until I can come up with a better idea. I will be posting them frequently, no matter how much they suck.

And with that, I'm going to attempt to cook an entire chicken today. This could be disastrous... Wish me luck!

Upward and Onward...

Hello all. One of my goals of 2012 is to write more, so that I am inspired to do more. I have been slightly unavailable for writing lately because of this move, but I am happy to say that not only did I move, but I can feel some lifestyle changes coming.

Playa Del Rey has to be one of the best places I could have moved to. It's still close to work and in West LA, (not to mention right on the beach!), and we landed ourselves in a really, really nice neighborhood surrounded by really, really nice people. We are only a few streets away from the Airport, but the building we are in dulls the sound with the double windows we had installed. Besides, seeing the planes take off while I'm at Togo's with a friend talking about animation and watching the sun set isn't all that bad anyways.

So why does moving indicate that lifestyle changes are about? Well, let me tell you. Living in "the city" really created a submissive person inside of me. I was either too scared or too upset to go running in my "neighborhood" because of who I was surrounded by, or the traffic, or the fear of some asshole not watching where he's going (if you've never been to LA, it's not all it's cracked up to be in terms of trying to live a relatively stress-free life). When it came to food, I would have rather just gone across the street to Jack in the Box rather than cook or throw together the salad I had waiting for me in the fridge. I've been trying to figure out why environment has such an impact on me. Why I would rather do the things I know I should be avoiding so I can live a better life, instead of just fucking doing them. The closest conclusion I can come to is why I moved here in the first place: Survival. I moved to LA to find a career and to give myself all the things I've ever wanted in independence and stability. The new apartment functions just as well as the older place, but the purpose of this new environment was not to survive anymore. It was to enjoy life and live with little obstacles toward any spontaneous things I choose to do. Granted, it hasn't been an easy transition. I find myself going back to old habits frequently and without hesitation. And you know why?

Because it's all about attitude.

Environment, locale, money, clothes, makeup, shoes, new couch, the beach... none of that will make a difference in your attitude. I went from almost living on the street to living in one of the most successful cities in the world and I am still making the same choices. It's all about attitude. I have to stop making excuses for the little things, because they all add up to the big picture. "Oh, it's just this time, once I go grocery shopping, I won't be eating that anymore." "I'm too tired to work out today, I'll delay the start of my routine until I'm feeling up for it." "Once I get paid next, I'm going to make the change."

Bullshit.

They say money can't buy you happiness. I'm still spending a few dollars that aren't changing my attitude. The shopping trips I take don't make a difference when I get home. For a while, I was opposed to this quote, mostly because "well, whoever wrote that hasn't been poor or in debt with student loans." Then how is it that when I was living in Venice, in a small bed sharing a room with a coke head, off of $50 a month for groceries, I had to have been the happiest person I knew? There was a good week or two where this wasn't the case... but it's amazing how much an environment doesn't matter when you have a positive outlook on your future. I had just gotten one of the most amazing jobs I could think of in only a few short weeks, I was in an amazing town, and I was meeting all these wonderful people. I'd say attitude is everything.

Now, for the changes. After doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING this weekend, and complaining about how I might have to find a job again soon, it occurred to me... there are always going to be these times where things will go downhill again. Always. It's what you do to prepare for it, and how you choose to approach the days to come that makes the difference. I keep putting my career ahead of my life. I don't feel comfortable taking care of my health and fitness until my career is taken care of. So when is it ever going to be stable? Never. There's always a chance of you not having a job at any given moment. Putting your life on hold until something completely unrelated happens is stupid and pointless. End of discussion.

I'm going to attempt my first pull up in a very long time tonight.

And I'm going to look for part-time jobs to increase my chances of not being jobless... when I become jobless.

If you stuck around long enough to read this sentence, I am thoroughly impressed. Thanks for listening.

Holiday Laziness

It's been a while since I've worked on my animations or eaten well, since not everyone in my family is particular about how healthy holidays need to me. But I don't care. After a year of being away from my family, I have finally gotten to spend time with them. Sometimes it's nice to take a step back and realize that although you have ambitions and want to complete goals that you have for yourself, it's also nice to just be lazy and enjoy the company while you're home.

I've been reading The Primal Blueprint by Mark Sisson, and finally finished today. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to improve their diet and even looking to educate themselves on the effects of processed foods on our bodies. He also has a great blog that I check almost daily (among others), called MarksDailyApple.com which is very inspirational when it comes to improving your health and looking for alternatives to modern life. One of his primary laws is to Play. It's that simple. Whatever you do, just make sure you play every once in a while. If that means taking a hike, going to the zoo, play a game of beach volleyball, whatever. Take time out of your day to play and release those feel-good hormones so your stress levels are reduced. That's all you gotta do.

The holidays really hit home for me, and put a little perspective on life as it is for me right now. Although, I was incredibly determined to get a job and become stable in LA as fast as possible, I have been so focused on this concept that I forgot to set money aside for doing the things I love and taking time out of my day to enjoy... Los Angeles!

Next stop: FUN! I'm going to loosen up and focus on having fun in cooking, fitness, learning, work, and my environment. Meeting new people, learning new tricks, get back into being a musician... All the things a young person should do. Stoked!

I really don't have a point to this blog, except to say, I can't wait to get back to LA so I can get back--- off-track! What will you do to have more fun in your life???

November Thoughts

This has nothing to do with animation. However, I think it's necessary as an artist and animation "producer" to step back from the art and just focus on life for a while. I'll blog about the new job once I start on Monday. But for now, I think health and fitness is a good thing to focus on. Bill Maher has a great rant about how America is addicted to "drugs" and people should look to health and fitness as the cure to all their problems. Here it is if you haven't seen it:

What I wanted to bring up, though, is all of the resources we have as humans that can essentially put us into the best health possible are 100% available to us outside of a pharmacy, and none of them will get us addicted to anything or cause anything else to go wrong in our bodies that may need more medication to fix. It's called DIET. Crazy concept.

Now, I know most of the people reading this probably aren't the ones who need telling about diet and exercise, but it needs to be said nonetheless.

Here is a plan I've set in place in order for me to sort of "up my game" in achieving maximum health the more natural way:

-I have poor eyesight (nearsightedness). I am still researching, but I'm going to increase my intake of carotenes and zinc that are possible contributors to healthy eyes. I also read somewhere that if you want to improve your vision (if you're near-sighted), you can get rid of your aids during the exercise (glasses, contacts, etc.) and poke a small hole in a piece of paper. Then for about 5 minutes a day (I believe this is a starting point, you can increase to longer if your eyes get used to it) look through this holewith one eye, then switch. Maybe try to read some large text in front of you or something. I will also try to decrease my use of glasses or contacts while I am at home, all while decreasing the prescription I order for my aids so that will compensate (hopefully) for the better vision I may get. Our bodies were made to adapt, maybe it's time I put it to the test.

-I bought The Natural Health Bible, I'm going to start reading through different foods and nutrients that solve common problems I have. My goal for all of this is to never need anything from the drug store. Clearly, getting sick is a result of poor diet, too much alcohol, and potentially lack of sleep, and I may need some things to last at work, but hopefully, the colds will be few and far between from now on. I always try to get 8 hours of sleep, I haven't been inebriated in who knows how long, and I am slowly becoming more responsible about meals so last minute fast food is always more inconvenient than cooking at home (I defrosted the meat, had the broth cooking overnight, fresh vegetables go bad fast, etc.). But as far as the health bible goes, I look forward to discovering what plants I can grow in my house as natural remedies and what can replace ibuprofen or anything else most people have a dependence on.

-Another note related to diet, I have found that understanding the psychology of humans is a very important thing when you are setting goals. Knowing what your personal weaknesses are can definitely help you reach a goal, you just have to be creative in your process of achieving it. I find it fascinating how I didn't understand why I was late up until around high school. I could never plan enough time to get somewhere on time. I started setting my clock about an hour fast so that I would always arrive before I needed to be there. That started giving me a more accurate way to measure time in terms of traffic, parking, driving to a new place, registering for an event, setting up events, etc. I basically tricked myself into being early and quickly learned how much time is appropriate to accommodate for every situation, even the ones I'm not familiar with. So what I'm trying to say is you can find your weaknesses and try to trick yourself into being healthy. My problem at first when I decided to change my diet was that if I had money in my pocket, I would be able to plan for a "treat" and go to Inn N Out, which was ruining my progress. So I would intentionally leave my credit/debit cards at home, knowing I wouldn't need to buy anything for the day, and force myself to make a sandwich in the morning. BOOM. You have no choice but to be healthy. Spending all my money on groceries so I had no money left for going-out food was also a good way to do that, as well. But hopefully that won't be the case forever :)

-I bought some roller blades at The Salvation Army, I'm going to start going to the beach again before work, because I start at 10am now. That should be pleasant. I can't decide what activities I should plan for morning workouts, but if I do 80%, that's more than nothing and I'll figure it out as I go.

-I am buying less and less packaged goods. I'm avoiding all the aisles in the grocery store that have little to no nutritional value. I pretty much fill up my cart with veggies, fruit, meat, and sometimes dairy and that fulfills my weekly quota for the pantry.


My last random thought... I've been in LA since May and the longer I'm here, the more I realize how stupid people can be here. In driving, finances, materialism, general responsibility. Please be respectful, responsible, and make intelligent decisions every day. Don't add to the chaos. There are already way too many people in this city, so if it's going to get bigger, I would prefer it be people that actually make conscious decisions based on reason and logic. Thanks.

"Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness is largely a matter of conscious choice, and discipline." -Jim Collins

Until next time!

"XRay" Update

I think this process is just as important (if not more) than the piece itself. The whole purpose of doing this piece "XRay" is to not only show that I can complete something that I start (believe it or not, it rarely happens with my own work that only depends on myself), but also to really break down the figure when it's in motion and seriously analyze what happens to the line of action, the body's composition, and how that all interrelates. I also want to understand how the physical and accurate movement of a person directly relates to if it was animated, what can be pushed, what shouldn't be pushed, and what the audience sees vs. what is actually happening. I find all of this fascinating and usually an artist is either exposed to one or the other in extremes, very rarely both- unless it's motion capture. And even then, it's not drawing.

So in taking this opportunity to learn all of this, and I think it's imperative that I share my findings with the public since most of you probably won't do anything to this extent.

First off, I have to get out of the way that I am my most creative when I have obstacles in my way. For this project, namely, it's drawing. Haven't been drawing my whole life and it definitely shows. So I am using a combo of photoshop brushes that I manipulated to create the splatter effects. And instead of drawing these out as they are thrown against the canvas, I'm using a method I have very commonly used before... erasure. I take the final image and erase backwards frame by frame to make it appear as if it's being painted when it plays forward. Mind you, it's not JUST erasure (I'll usually manipulate it a touch to breathe life into what's happening), but that's the basic principle. And since it's only 15-30 frames or so each, that doesn't have to be as accurate as another project would require.

I also haven't been doing figure drawing my whole life, and it took me until recently to fully understand the meaning of an "Action Line". At first, I didn't quite get it. I literally drew the entire piece (extremes only) about 3 times before it really started to click for me. I started out pose by pose following only the spine, and then I switched to just the weight and energy, but neither of those will accurately display what is physically going on with the figure until you combine the two. Now this is where it gets good... animation helped me understand that because figure drawing is static and relatively lifeless. They put the model into a pose, and you have no idea how they "got there" in context, where they are going, or where they are transitioning their weight. Clearly, in the figure drawing, this doesn't matter because it's based on the energy of the pose, but ultimately, it took a moving figure for me to really get this. Now when I apply it to a static figure, it makes WAY more sense, and I can pull from that idea when I'm lost. Another key point is you should keep the line going through the middle of her torso, and incorporate the head. Ultimately, it looks like just a line, but there is a lot of thought and analysis that must go into it in order to capture the essence of the pose. Here's an example of my lines thus far:

Another handicap is anatomy... I never took the class and I barely understand it. I can tell when something looks weird, but I can't tell you why. So for the part where I turn her into a skeleton, clearly there is a lot that I don't know and I don't want the piece to be about how inaccurate the anatomy looks since it's solely based on live movement. So I have a 3D skeleton, and I'm going to very loosely take renders of it in those positions and draw over it. I don't want to draw all 250ish bones, but the basic ones should do the trick (large and defining bones). But, this will serve two purposes: I can learn about how the bones will look relative to the body position (if the rig's integrity holds), and I will learn a little about perspective.


I'll upload more with transition tests, screen shots, and some more updates when I have them. Next stop is the boxes, however, I have the feeling (due to my complete lack of talent in perspective, it's going to be a while). I am really happy with how far I've come with this piece, and I can't wait to see the final product!

Let me know what you think so far! Thanks!

Going In For The Kill...

Hey guys! I've been promising for a week that I would post my progress and elements of the project I'm working on, so here it is! The exported video so far is too big to upload, and wouldn't make much sense because it's a rough of certain layers, but I'll post what does make sense, and hopefully you guys can get an idea of what I'm going for! Enjoy!

First of all, this was all inspired simply by a "So You Think You Can Dance" piece choreographed by Sonya Tajeh. Now, even if you're not super into dance, it's great reference material for acting choreography, artistic interpretation, and the movement in the figure. The choreography in and of itself is an art, not to mention the talented dancers that allow them to push their creativity every season. Here is the video I'm using as a template.

I wanted to go more literal and with this piece, so I'm literally drawing over the video. It's to aid my handicap in drawing and also so I can learn with this project about movement, anatomy, and perspective. That's usually how I learn best anyways... by taking something that is accurate (what could be more accurate than the figure itself?) and breaking it down backwards to fully understand it. My layers, so far, include triangles that represent the silhouette of the girl, action lines to define the extremes of the movement, and I am now beginning the box forms of her chest, pelvis, and limbs. It may be a bit overkill since none of that will literally be seen in the silhouette, but I think it will definitely help make the piece more dynamic. Here are some examples:

<--Drawn by Jenny Kong

<--Taken from Google Images

I'm taking my box form studies from Glenn Vilppu who has classes in Burbank for artists and animators regarding figure, basic, and anatomy drawing.

So, to give you an idea of the piece, after watching the video, it will make more sense. There is a lot of fluid movement with very staccato moments (the dance style is jazz). Where it's fluid, I want to take the basics of the silhouette and push it to be a very dynamic and push the figure past realism, yet keep a simple form like the one below. I would like to thank Jenny Kong for helping me with defining this style. The knees, elbows, hands, and feet will only be drawn when absolutely essential. Otherwise it will just be the core.

<--Drawn by Jenny Kong

So when the movement is fluid, it's the same form constrained to just the silhouette. When she hits a pose and throws her body into the beat for that jazz staccato movement, however, it's going to be a bit different. I haven't fully defined the transition yet, but she is going to throw paint up against the "canvas" (screen) and with each time this happens, it adds on the paint to the time before. Imagine her painting a picture. This is what she's doing. Whenever she swipes her leg or her arms, it's going to smear the paint and create a clearer picture. Eventually, when the piece is over, she will have painted a picture of a skull, and I'm going to fade on the paint dripping down the canvas. Here are some snapshots of what I have so far (with a few smears as tests):

<--Taken from Google Images

Now, mind you, it's difficult to paint a picture all at once because it has to make sense with her movement. Much of what I have right now is thanks to a diagram I created- an instance, really- that represents the location of where she "throws" the paint.

As you can see, there are areas where the skull should be defined, and it totally is lacking in paint, so I'm going to go in and find minute movements that she does that could potentially add paint on in those areas, or smear it into the correct form it needs to be. So far, she has smeared the bridges of the eyes. I have considered the concept of her smearing AWAY the paint to kind of create more identifiable attributes of negative space, like the teeth and the nose cavity. The diagram was mostly necessary due to the fact that I didn't know TV Paint Pro takes PSDs and puts everything nicely into layers, so now I can paint it all in real time. Although, I need to make some new brushes for paint splatter and translate them to TV Paint >_<



Here are some problems/concerns/questions I'm running into that maybe you could help me with:

-The video was edited, so the figures are cut and reappear in different parts of the canvas, get smaller and bigger with the zooming in/out, etc. So I'm thinking a simple fade effect with the silhouette (to take it more literally with the video) will do the trick.

-Negative space. The figure isn't very big, and I need to consider maybe some sort of a backdrop to fill the space. Maybe once the "canvas" is established, the anticipation of seeing what she's painting will be enough?

-The man. As gorgeous as he is, he is a support, in my opinion, for this piece. She's "going in for the kill" and he's there to support her and "not let go of [her] hand". I don't think he should be ignored, so Jenny and I discussed the possibility of him being some sort of a shadow. Interpreting him not only as a support, but a looming figure over her, sort of egging her on to be this evil side. I'll draw him sort of as a black cloud that moves literally as he does in the video, but when he is closer to her, he feeds off her and becomes stronger (also symbolizing a literal shadow, which is more crisp when closer to the object casting it). This would also solve the next problem.

-Transitions. From silhouette to her throwing the paint, there needs to be some sort of an emphasis on her when this happens (almost like an Adam West Batman episode with the comic violence stars BIFF! BOOM! OOOF!). I came up with the idea that it could be her turning into a skeleton, almost like she gets hit with lightning, the whole canvas goes black, and you get a glimpse of her white, glowing bones. Almost like a light is shining on her and you see her true intentions, she's transparent, there's nothing about her motives that can be hidden. Still deciding on if it should be a literal skeleton or a graphical one (the silhouette isn't literal, so I'm leaning toward graphical). But, I'm wondering if the skeleton is too much and I should just go for a white-on-black silhouette instead. To solve this, since the canvas turns to black, I was thinking the shadow would sort of consume her, bleed into making the canvas black, and then fade back into his form when the moment is through.

-The canvas. How much of the overall picture should the audience be seeing when she throws the paint? All of it? Only the paint? Only the section of the canvas where she is occupying? I want the audience to get that she's painting a picture early to peak curiosity, but I don't want them to see it until she is done. So maybe only the section she's painting would be the best idea. Leave the rest a mystery?



Anyways, I'm glad you took the time to read through this (and I thank you in advance if you comment or send feedback!). I'll be posting a few more updates before I upload it to YouTube for the world to see. I'm kind of excited that Sonya and I share the same name. I'm crossing my fingers that it makes its way to her and she can see what she has inspired :)