Hello all. One of my goals of 2012 is to write more, so that I am inspired to do more. I have been slightly unavailable for writing lately because of this move, but I am happy to say that not only did I move, but I can feel some lifestyle changes coming.
Playa Del Rey has to be one of the best places I could have moved to. It's still close to work and in West LA, (not to mention right on the beach!), and we landed ourselves in a really, really nice neighborhood surrounded by really, really nice people. We are only a few streets away from the Airport, but the building we are in dulls the sound with the double windows we had installed. Besides, seeing the planes take off while I'm at Togo's with a friend talking about animation and watching the sun set isn't all that bad anyways.
So why does moving indicate that lifestyle changes are about? Well, let me tell you. Living in "the city" really created a submissive person inside of me. I was either too scared or too upset to go running in my "neighborhood" because of who I was surrounded by, or the traffic, or the fear of some asshole not watching where he's going (if you've never been to LA, it's not all it's cracked up to be in terms of trying to live a relatively stress-free life). When it came to food, I would have rather just gone across the street to Jack in the Box rather than cook or throw together the salad I had waiting for me in the fridge. I've been trying to figure out why environment has such an impact on me. Why I would rather do the things I know I should be avoiding so I can live a better life, instead of just fucking doing them. The closest conclusion I can come to is why I moved here in the first place: Survival. I moved to LA to find a career and to give myself all the things I've ever wanted in independence and stability. The new apartment functions just as well as the older place, but the purpose of this new environment was not to survive anymore. It was to enjoy life and live with little obstacles toward any spontaneous things I choose to do. Granted, it hasn't been an easy transition. I find myself going back to old habits frequently and without hesitation. And you know why?
Because it's all about attitude.
Environment, locale, money, clothes, makeup, shoes, new couch, the beach... none of that will make a difference in your attitude. I went from almost living on the street to living in one of the most successful cities in the world and I am still making the same choices. It's all about attitude. I have to stop making excuses for the little things, because they all add up to the big picture. "Oh, it's just this time, once I go grocery shopping, I won't be eating that anymore." "I'm too tired to work out today, I'll delay the start of my routine until I'm feeling up for it." "Once I get paid next, I'm going to make the change."
Bullshit.
They say money can't buy you happiness. I'm still spending a few dollars that aren't changing my attitude. The shopping trips I take don't make a difference when I get home. For a while, I was opposed to this quote, mostly because "well, whoever wrote that hasn't been poor or in debt with student loans." Then how is it that when I was living in Venice, in a small bed sharing a room with a coke head, off of $50 a month for groceries, I had to have been the happiest person I knew? There was a good week or two where this wasn't the case... but it's amazing how much an environment doesn't matter when you have a positive outlook on your future. I had just gotten one of the most amazing jobs I could think of in only a few short weeks, I was in an amazing town, and I was meeting all these wonderful people. I'd say attitude is everything.
Now, for the changes. After doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING this weekend, and complaining about how I might have to find a job again soon, it occurred to me... there are always going to be these times where things will go downhill again. Always. It's what you do to prepare for it, and how you choose to approach the days to come that makes the difference. I keep putting my career ahead of my life. I don't feel comfortable taking care of my health and fitness until my career is taken care of. So when is it ever going to be stable? Never. There's always a chance of you not having a job at any given moment. Putting your life on hold until something completely unrelated happens is stupid and pointless. End of discussion.
I'm going to attempt my first pull up in a very long time tonight.
And I'm going to look for part-time jobs to increase my chances of not being jobless... when I become jobless.
If you stuck around long enough to read this sentence, I am thoroughly impressed. Thanks for listening.
